Yevhen Terekhov (Titanium Jackson): "Most terrible ’road of life’ I would call distance to another trench when ours collapsed. It was hard. I would say it was 700 metres of hell."
Yevhen Terekhov mobilised in 2014. Then in August he was seriously wounded. Since then, he has 28 pieces of shrapnel in his body and a titanium plate in his head. But this did not stop him at the beginning of the full-scale war when he returned to the front.
He is currently serving in the 58th separate motorised infantry brigade named after Hetman Ivan Vyhovskyi. He has had the call sign Titanium Jackson for ten years. Now he has received another one - Mum's Cherry.
- When the invasion took place, some men fled to the west of Ukraine or abroad. They were called "mum's cherries" because they were not born for war or were tired of it. The guys and I often joked about it, laughed, wrote about it," he explains. - "That's why they called me not only Jackson, but also Mum's Cherry. That's how it stuck with me.
- We are talking to you on the eve of the second anniversary of Russia's full-scale invasion of Ukraine. Two years ago, you returned to the frontline, even though you still have 28 shrapnel fragments in your body after a serious injury and a titanium plate in your head. How did you get recruited?
- At first, I was in a small group that cooperated with the DIU. Then I joined a veteran company of the Patrol Police - I was engaged in guerrilla warfare, and in Bakhmut I was already working with the 58th Brigade. I liked their approach to work. I applied to the military enlistment office. They said: "Yevhen Eduardovych, we are sorry, but you are unfit for duty. We don't even have your documents anymore". I replied: "I've been running around planting for six months now, and you say I'm unfit for duty. Well, okay". I found a way to go directly to the military unit and was mobilised on 1 October 2022.
-You are one of those who believed that there would be a full-scale offensive. Where did these thoughts come from?
- Since 2014, it has been clear that Russia is an enemy that will not stop and will not leave Ukraine alone. As time went on, the tension grew, so these feelings intensified. On the eve of the full-scale attack in mid-January, I had just arrived from America. I realised that something was going to happen, so I had to find a use for myself. I was periodically asked why I left. I could have avoided it. But who else would? No one in my family fought except me. I wouldn't want them to even look here.
- You were in America at a time when the same American intelligence was warning us about Russia's plans to attack Ukraine...
- I was afraid to miss that moment of advance. So I looked for tickets to get back as soon as possible.
- So you also heard talk of such intentions of the Russians there?
- Yes! It was all over the news. My friends from the Ukrainian diaspora asked me: "Will they attack or not?". I answered: "They will. It's just a matter of time. They won't give any warning: "Tomorrow at such and such an hour we will attack". Everything will be sneaky and insidious. A stab in the back." In the end, that's exactly what happened.
- How did 24 February 2022 begin for you?
- For me, it started on 23 February - I was already receiving weapons. We met with friends, guys we knew. These are those who, let's say, mobilised on their own. To this day, they all serve in different brigades. Well done to them!
- You said you were a partisan at the beginning. Where exactly were you? In the Kyiv region?
- In the Kyiv and Chernihiv regions. I was with the police in the Kharkiv region. And then it was Donbas.
- As a participant in the events, do you compare the beginning of the war in 2014 with what is happening now? Apart from the scale, what are the differences between these periods?
- I'll answer you with a phrase that we often say: "The day has passed, the number has changed, but nothing has changed." I will say more - this situation has been going on since 1942. Because they have one plan - Marshal Zhukov's: if you can't win by head, take it by force. They use these "meat assaults" everywhere. I call it the Indian train, because on the same armoured personnel carriers, they are simply strewn with slides. "Meat", "meat" and "meat" again. I don't understand how soldiers allow this to happen to them. They are drugged with something - some kind of drug, spiked with something, I don't know. But I see what is happening. It's brutal! Believe me, there are no words to describe it. They are stupidly pushing in a crowd to storm the building. Yes, they have a lot of people. I think the elections will be held and they will mobilise even more. As long as they are selling their oil and gas, they can afford such actions. The salary of contract soldiers in assault units is about seven thousand dollars. You see, they can pay ten thousand dollars! And if we are talking about such a pricing policy, then it is profitable for them to go to war. That's why people are crammed into the army, and then "meat assaults" are organised on the battlefield. And now we are facing a shortage of ammunition, an incomprehensible political dither and a difficult situation at the front. For some reason, no one thinks about this. That's why it's hard. Because we have to go around and beg mayors and heads of civil-military administrations to buy drones, including FPVs. Because there is a great need for them today. Avdiivka has been held for so long, in part, because of them. Out of one million dollars, we bought about 147 million worth of equipment. They just don't talk about it. We have to look for metal on our own because everywhere that has been bombed, we have already collected all the nuts and bolts - everything we can to equip FPV drones. Now we go to Dnipro, Pavlohrad, and Selidove. Everywhere we went, they cut wires. There are two guys sitting around disassembling bearings (smiling - O.M.). It's both a laugh and a sin! We joke with each other: we are like scrap metal collectors (smiles - O.M.). We have to do it. Because these drones are the future. When our position was stormed, three tanks, five armoured personnel carriers, and about the same number of MT-LBs were hit by FPV drones. And there was also infantry on the vehicles. Yes, they managed to take two strongholds, but they couldn't do anything else. We used 21 FPVs in one day. They were operated by young guys. You know, I think I'm too old for war (Yevhen is 34 years old - O.M.). It really needs young people. With their extraordinary thinking and unconventional views, they are reaching great heights. It's cool!
- Even foreign instructors note that our guys are very creative and skilled .
- And these guys were 10-13 years old in 2014. Today, they are mature people, hardened by fire and sword and highly motivated. I watch them and admire them.
- You say that you even have to collect metal and look for help. Do you see people's support decreasing recently?
- Of course it is! We can see this from the fees. For example, we often have to repair cars. Because this is the only car you can drive to the position. Just the parts for the chassis cost 62 thousand. The repair costs are about the same. We have to turn to people. And support has decreased. Even abroad.
- Why do you think that is?
- I won't say it's fatigue. I don't like to talk about people who are tired of the war. People are impoverished. You see what the prices are in the shops now. The choice is either to buy food or to help the military.
It also seems as if the belief in victory is disappearing. I think the authorities, sorry, journalists, as well as bloggers and the creators of these "two or three weeks" and "victorious counter-offensive" are to blame for this. All this talk has played a role. At first, people were eager to go to serve. But they were told: "There will be a counter-offensive. We have gathered our fists here, and we will fight back." So they think, why should we go to the army if everything is formed? Let's just watch. And when everything went painfully, they reflect: "I'm definitely not going. I still want to live!". And I don't want to? My daughters don't see me, they grow up without me. But who else but us? Those who know the war not from stories. In addition, I believe that we, the elders, have to restrain the ardour of the young. This is also very important. Look, Pavlohrad is not that far from Donetsk. My parents are under constant attack. That's why I'm here.
-You are in the Donetsk sector today. The situation here is complicated. How would you describe it?
- The Russians are taking advantage of what is happening internationally. America does not provide weapons. Europe is squeezing them out. Look at what is happening on the border with Poland. And you understand that there is a Russian trace there. It is a hundred per cent! Because there are problems even with the supply of military aid. This has a significant impact on the frontline. And the Russians are pushing with "meat assaults". Plus the level of their supply. They have more shells, GABs and so on. Avdiivka could have been held. But not under the conditions when 120 MRLS were arriving every day. Just imagine what it was like! One GAB was enough for me to drip for a month and withdraw from these drips for the same amount of time. And I have other injuries.
- Indeed, it is often said that the Russians are taking advantage of our lack of weapons and ammunition, which is why we were forced to withdraw from Avdiivka...
- You know, we have unbreakable cities. Avdiivka is one of them. They also want Kupyansk, Kreminna, Robotyne, Krynky and so on. They are trying to hit everywhere - along the entire frontline. And with aviation and "meat assaults".
- Our aviation is to be replenished with F-16s.Can they change the situation at the front?
- Indeed, F-16s will add to the advantage. But even if you give us a hundred aircraft, we need ammunition. I have a question: why can't we produce flying GABs? We have factories for this. I can't tell you why it hasn't been done yet. Plus, I learned that we have in our warehouses explosive shells prohibited by the International Convention, which are launched from aircraft. They release gas and then explode. Our people do not use them. So Russia can violate all the conventions, but we have to comply with them. This is war! Whatever one may say, all methods are suitable here.
- Russians are also shelling civilian cities with missiles. Nothing prevents them from targeting residential buildings .
- You see, where they can't take it by "meat storms", they simply level everything to the ground. This is a real hell! If it exists, it looks like this
- I now remember the photos of the destroyed Bakhmut...
- The same is true of Avdiivka. And you look at those "Russian world" people and you don't understand. Honestly, it's brutal! They are bringing trouble on themselves. Why? The war has been going on for 10 years, so people could have figured out what's going on by now. I can't understand them. But I'm fighting so that my children don't have to, so that they don't have to see all that anymore. You know, when my eldest daughter left Pavlohrad on the first day, I was not living, I was existing. Because the Russians were constantly shelling us on the way. I am very sorry that she saw all this. Because I tried my best to make sure that she did not hear about it and did not know about it. And now my younger daughter calls me and says: "Dad, where are you? Are you at work? Are you in the Armed Forces? Are you at war?". And you just cry because at the age of four, a child knows the word war. She has grown up very quickly. He has no childhood. This is very painful. That's why I'm here.
- How do you protect children from information about your work ?
- I try to keep them away from the frontline, in the west of Ukraine. You know, I came once, and there was an alarm. My daughter asked: "Where are the rockets flying?". In Kharkiv. And she was so emotional: "There are people there!". It's very hard to take it. I don't know what I can do to help, except to defend, fight and drive that invasion out of our country so that I can take her to the sea and say: "My daughter, it's over!"
- In one of your interviews, you said that despite your injuries and their consequences, you are still physically stronger than you are mentally. Why is that?
- I'll be honest with you: I'm already burned out mentally. I can see by myself that I am very tired. Physically, there are also issues - a hernia, a headache, and so on. Everything makes itself felt. And it's hard to be mentally... I see what we lack. The same FPV drones. As I said, we need to get them from somewhere, spin them, assemble them. Ten years of war, and we still have nothing in place. The full-scale war has been going on for two years, and only now the president is talking about EWs.
It was hard... Avdiivka was hard for me. Because 14 people I knew were killed, and seven are still missing. Unfortunately, a lot of my friends died during the war. Childhood friends on the same day in two directions. However, there were also those who fled the country.
- You don't communicate with them, do you?
- I do not communicate. Everything has really changed. The war made its own adjustments to life. My parents also had differences of opinion with many people because of their different perceptions of the war, even with their godparents.
- Didn't you expect these people you know to be able to escape in the event of an attack?
- I didn't expect that from most of them. They even tried to prepare - they went to the shooting range and bought rifles. A cool Rambo is fashionable! (smiles. - O.M.). And on the first day of the attack, he sends his wife in another car, takes the child in his arms and drives away as a single father. Just imagine! You look at all this and just don't understand! I couldn't stand it and told my friend: "Don't come back here, I have three award pistols."
- And him?
- He laughed. But I don't think he's coming back.
- If you had the opportunity, what would you say to those men who fled abroad? Is there no point in saying anything anymore?
- There is no point. I consider this action to be a betrayal. And if a person has betrayed once, he will do it again.
- They can stab you in the back or shoot you in the back of the head.
- This is usually the case.
- I wanted to ask you, as an experienced soldier, for advice on how to overcome fear in war. Obviously, everyone has it, it's natural. But how do you manage it?
- Even I have fear. It's really normal. But I am the kind of person who sees the goal and does not see obstacles. So, through my fear, I go straight ahead with my thoughts: If anything, this is my destiny.
- Fatalism?
- I guess so. You see, fear is still mixed with adrenaline, so your arms and legs can go numb. They just feel like cotton wool. You can't move. It's all there. Sometimes you smoke a cigarette and it goes away, and sometimes it stays with you. It depends. I still concentrate on the photos of my daughters and my eldest's toy, which I always have with me in my armour. I look at them and repeat to myself why I'm doing this.
- And what kind of toy?
- A small moose.
- Please remember the most frightening moment during the full-scale war.
- This is the last time we were shell-shocked. Kreminna Forest: I went in with my legs and came out without them. Urozhaine, when I went to the toilet in the morning, took off my helmet and armour, and a GAB flew into the neighbouring building. Then in the afternoon, a 120mm mine hit me right in the trench. I was thrown back. My older brother-in-war got second-degree bruises, and I got third-degree bruises. The most terrible "road of life" I would call the distance to another trench when ours collapsed. It was hard. I would say it was 700 metres of hell. You have a mixture of fear and adrenaline, and you can't lift your arm or leg properly. In addition to running under fire, you have to carry a backpack with a BC and a rifle. And your whole body is cotton wool. And you think that you can't do it anymore, that it's over. You know what they say: 'Trokhym died, and fuck with him. So I thought: that's it! But no (smiles - O.M.). Apparently, my parents' prayers were strong. And in the evening, there was still phosphorus and "lighters". We got everything we could (smiles - O.M.).
-What are these "lighters"?
- These are the Grads. If it lands next to you, it takes away your oxygen and burns your lungs. It's not a good thing (smiles - O.M.).
- You say terrible things with a smile.
- I remember it now with a laugh. At the time, it was no laughing matter.
- What happened next?
- We left on our own. That day we walked almost 27 kilometres. That's the kind of work we do.
-Then treatment?
- I dripped myself and the violet bloomed again (smiles - O.M.). You know, the price of my country is the fragments that still live in me.
- What do you remember most often ?
- Meeting people. On a cheerful note, we had a visit from our grandfather Hrynia, 58 years old, in the Kreminna forest. His daughter lives in the United Arab Emirates. His son-in-law is an Arab. At the beginning of the full-scale war, he offered him 20 thousand dollars to give it to the military commissariat and fly to babysit his grandchildren. The grandfather replied: "I was born here. If it is fated, I will die here." Here he is at the front. When we came, he always had sausage, but no bread. He treated us all the time. It just so happened that his call sign was Hrynia the Sausage (smiles - O.M.). Once we went on a training exercise, then came to the post, and he had already washed and shaved, so we didn't even recognise him at first, because we were used to a different look in the trenches. But what a shot! What can I say? He will give young people a head start.
- This is from the pleasant ones. But there are also hard memories...
- I saw a burnt-out family in Bucha. Dogs and cats were tearing up the meat. And that smell with this picture... It was getting to my throat. My parents brought me to my senses then. Because before that, it was the last straw that tore me apart morally... But we continue to do our work. Because there is an understanding of why and for whom it is all for.
-What did you think of the Russians who did this?
- What can you even think about them when they break into your house - your country? There are simply no normal words anymore. Muscovites are all the same. You can't separate them. I met a girl in Bucha. The next day I came again and brought her some kinders. She took one and said: "My dad always brings me these!". And you realise that her dad will never come again, because he's gone - he was shot dead right outside the apartment. Mum managed to hide the girl, so she doesn't know that he's dead...
- You know, for me, most Ukrainians are about empathy, and all Russians are about cruelty .
- Until the world realises that this cruelty exists, we will have neither victory nor peace. Everyone understands that after Ukraine, Europe will be next. I would like to see how the Poles will fight. I think they will run away from the war.
- But I really want this war to end with our victory.
- And we have no other choice! We are defending our home. I want to continue to speak or write freely, so that it is not under dictation. Everyone understands that the communist regime is a rotten imposed system. And Russia is a successor to the Soviet Union.
- From what you said, I understood that you don't believe in good Russians.
- No, I don't believe it, I didn't believe it and I won't believe it. Whenever I flew abroad, I used to have a full set of T-shirts with inscriptions that annoyed them. And I really wanted them to hurt me (smiles. - O.M.).
In general, I will tell you this: I do not believe in a quick victory. It will not be like that. We still have to live with all this - for a long time. But I really want the fighting to end. We are paying a very heavy price.
- Do you think it will take years?
- I think so. Even if they stop shooting tomorrow, we have so many mined areas that the echo of the war will be there for a long time. My prediction is that if not now in the elections, then a little later, the government in Russia will change, because that grandfather-marasmatic is almost over, then they will roll back, promise to pay reparations and so on. This will drag on for years, but then they will gather this fist again to attack us. It is written in their manual.
- Indeed, even after the victory,we must always be ready for their next attack.
- One hundred per cent! Prepare and prepare to prevent a repeat. Because if there is another war like this, we may not be able to withstand it...
Olha Moskaliuk, Censor.NET
Photo courtesy of Yevhen Terekhov
