"Dad, your war is over, now it’s our war" - two brothers died at front
The death of a soldier is a terrible grief for his family. The loss of two soldiers is a tragedy that cannot be described in any words. This is exactly what happened to the Kostiuk family from Kharkiv region. Two brothers were killed at the front: Volodymyr was 27 years old and Oleksiy was 26.
What happened to the brothers at the front and how their relatives are recovering from the tragedy - in the Censor.NET article.
Grew up in a large family
The fallen soldiers were born in the Kharkiv region. Yurii (59) and Olena (55) Kostiuk had five children in their family: Vova was the fourth, and Oleksii was the youngest - the fifth son.
The eldest Ruslan (35), Anna (33) and the middle Liudmila (32) have already started their own families and had children. The grieving relatives admit that they could not have kept either Volodymyr or Oleksiy at home - the brothers loved their homeland so much that they stood up for it. Today, at the initiative of the starosta, the street where the brothers grew up has been renamed in their honour.
One by one, they joined the ranks of the Heavenly Legion
Volodymyr was courageous and calm, he had all the qualities of a real man. Born on 15 April 1994, he served in the army - first as a senior electrician operator, then as a senior soldier. In the ATO zone, he served as a rifleman and received the state award "War Veteran". Then he served as a commander of a reconnaissance group, with the call sign Vovk. He fought in the east of the country, in Kyiv and Zhytomyr regions. He was awarded the Order "For Courage", III class (posthumously).
Oleksiy was kind and wise, and had a big heart. Born on 11 April 1996, he graduated from a vocational lyceum with a degree "a passenger car conductor". After completing his military service in Desna, Chernihiv region, he worked as a warehouse manager in Kharkiv. He went to the front as a volunteer.
He defended the Bohodukhiv district at checkpoints and then served as a signalman and rifleman. Risking his life, he participated in the organisation of continuous communication between the battalion's units in Zolochiv (Kharkiv region), near Bakhmut and Kreminna. He loved animals: at the front, he fed dogs that came to the military. He knew jokes, joked with his comrades, and always knew what to say to people.
Volodymyr hid his service in the ATO from his family
Liudmyla, the sister of the fallen soldiers, says that she chose her brother Volodymyr as her daughter's godfather because they were very close: "Some people have their own girlfriend, but Vovchyk was my best friend. I could talk to him, confide in him, ask for advice. Even when he was in the ATO, no one knew about it except me!"
The first rotation lasted 9 months, the second - 6 months, and the third - 3 months. Before he left for the ATO zone, Volodymyr lived in Zhytomyr, and his parents lived in Kharkiv region, so they had no idea. It was only after Volodymyr returned from his second deployment that his mother and father found out where their son was.
When the full-scale invasion began, he already had combat experience.
My father's advice is to stay together
Liudmyla recalls: "My father always told us: "Family is the closest thing". So my sister and brothers and I stuck together. Every New Year and Easter we always went to our parents' house - it was the law!"
On the day the full-scale invasion began, the first person Liudmyla called was Volodymyr. And then, on 15 March, following her brother's advice, she and her children took the risk of leaving the occupation for their parents' village.
Volodymyr persuaded Oleksiy not to go to the front
After the outbreak of the Great War, Oleksiy came to his parents. Volodymyr was worried about him too. When Volodymyr found out that Oleksiy was going to the front, he called him and persuaded him not to: "You do not understand what you are doing. It is very difficult to take someone else's life... Once we captured a Russian. He showed us photos on his phone - pictures of his wife and children. That was the first time I thought about how hard it is to take a father away from his children, even if it is the enemy..."
However, Oleksiy didn't listen and signed up as a volunteer. He told Volodia: "You know we can't stay at home. We have to help you and other soldiers."
His older brother Ruslan also signed up as a volunteer and was waiting for his turn to be called up. However, he was not called up because Volodymyr died...
"Dad, your war is over, now it's our war!"
The sister of the fallen soldiers has only one explanation for why her brothers died - "Because they were brave! " When the full-scale invasion began, the head of the family, Yurii Kostiuk, who was 57 years old at the time, wanted to defend the country. His son Volodymyr was already in contract service, and Oleksii wanted to volunteer. Then his father told Oleksiy: "I'll go to the front, and you stay at home, we need a man here. In case you have to leave, you will take the family with you."
To which Oleksiy replied: "Dad, your war is over, now it's our war."
Yurii Kostiuk fought in Afghanistan, was wounded and underwent two surgeries. This topic was never discussed in the family, Yurii was always a private person - probably, his sons Volodymyr and Oleksiy inherited this trait from him, and they also did not tell anything about the service.
The last conversation: Vova promised that he would be fine and would return
The last time his family spoke to Volodymyr on the phone was on 19 March 2022. When he called the day before, he sounded anxious. Later, his comrades-in-arms told the family that Volodymyr understood then what a difficult task he would undertake later.
On 19 March, his sister Liudmyla informed Volodymyr that she and her children had managed to leave occupied Kupyansk. The family asked Volodymyr to be careful. His father instructed him to think first and then act, to be wise.
Volodymyr himself asked that his mother bake him pies and send them by post. However, it turned out that those pies were baked for his funeral... After receiving the news of her son's death, the grieving woman swore never to bake pies in her life
And during the last conversation, his family remembered his phrase: "I'll be fine, I'll be back...".
That same evening, Liudmyla had a bad feeling, and later she became very ill. Her parents wanted to call an ambulance. At the time, everyone thought it was because of her escape from the occupation. However, in fact, it was a premonition of trouble that was coming. After all, my brother was too different from himself during the last conversation...
The next day, Volodymyr died. This is what the sergeant told his sister: "Our soldiers heard the explosions and started to run away, but this did not save Volodymyr from death... His body was completely cut by shrapnel from behind, except for the part of his torso where he was wearing a bulletproof vest..."
Oleksiy promised to take revenge for his brother
Liudmyla admits that her relatives were afraid to discuss Volodymyr's death because it was extremely difficult for her parents. At the mention of Volodymyr, the grieving mother and father would constantly cry. "My father tried to hide somewhere and cry, because 'men don't cry'! My mother withdrew into herself, stopped communicating with people and going out," Liudmyla recalls.
On the day of his brother's funeral, Oleksiy came home from service - he was released for only 1 day. He took the loss of his loved one very hard, reacted with anger - he had a thirst for revenge. At the funeral, Oleksiy made a promise: "I will go and take revenge for Vovchik!"
The father tried to restrain his son: "Think about what you are saying. You are in such a state now that you need to restrain yourself. Revenge will not lead to anything good..."
After his brother's death, Oleksiy did not resign from the service
After his brother died at the front, Oleksiy could have resigned from the service. But he didn't - he just didn't want to. His sister recalls how all his relatives persuaded him: "We told him about it, we put emotional and moral pressure on him that we would not survive another loss! We said, 'Think about us! But then he replied: "I saw a lot of things at the front, it's hard to move away from it..." He buried many of his comrades...
Oleksiy was also involved in volunteer work. He had the opportunity to come home from time to time, where his family helped him buy food, which he delivered to the border locations. He felt sorry for the civilians who lived in the border towns. People there had no electricity or water, and at the beginning of the full-scale invasion, few people brought food there. Oleksiy spent almost half of his military salary on food and power banks. At home, his sister and mother prepared food for different units. The military shared food with civilians by delivering food to them. However, some civilians were ashamed to take food from the military. Oleksiy particularly remembers one pensioner who addressed the soldiers: "Guys, we are the ones who should be feeding you, not you!"
Before his death, Oleksiy came home on holiday
Before Oleksiy passed away, he came home on holiday. His relatives saw that he, a young man, had gone partially grey! The family understood that there had been inevitable changes - Oleksiy had changed, become more withdrawn. Neither he nor the deceased Volodia shared what was happening at the front: "This information is not for civilians". Or maybe they were protecting their family from additional worries...
One of the few things that pleased the man back then was sledging. Obviously, Oleksiy wanted to remember his childhood, so he encouraged his adult relatives to go sledding together! Oleksiy stayed at home for 10 days. When he was returning to work early in the morning, his mother and father went to see him off. The sisters stayed at home, says Liudmyla: "Every time Oleksiy came and went, we met him and saw him off, hugged him. And the day he left for the last time, for some reason I couldn't get up to see him off. I was awake at the time, but neither my sister nor I went to see him off. We didn't want to say goodbye to him... We talked about it with my sister - we feel guilty for not saying goodbye to him..."
How Oleksiy died
On 2 January 2023, Liudmyla asked her brother how he was doing. He replied that everything was fine and promised to get in touch on 3 January. However, there was complete silence...
That day was already an anxious one for the family, everyone was worried. Relatives began to write and call Oleksiy, but he did not answer. They started thinking that he was the "three hundredth", because the family could not believe that he would be gone
In the evening, Liudmyla called her older brother Ruslan and asked him to contact Oleksiy's brothers and find out why he was not answering: "I was afraid to hear once again that my brother was gone... I had already heard this phrase from the sergeant major about the deceased Volodymyr. About 40 minutes later, my brother Ruslan arrived. I opened the door and saw him crying. That's how I realised that Oleksiy was gone..."
It turned out that Oleksiy had come under enemy fire near the village of Zarichne in Donetsk Oblast. Liudmyla shares: "Oleksiy had a shrapnel wound to his neck. We understood that it was an instant death..."
How parents survived the death of their second son
The health of the mother and father of the fallen soldiers has deteriorated significantly. Liudmyla explains: "After Volodymyr's death, my parents were on medication. And after Oleksiy's death, it got even worse. Dad was always hiding when he felt bad. But we saw the pills for heart pain disappearing somewhere - he was taking them! My mother was very depressed. She used to cook food for her dead sons and take it to the cemetery almost every day. She talked to them, it was hard for her... We thought we would not be able to bring her out of this state. But she slowly began to withdraw - she began to be distracted by caring for her grandchildren. We took her to church, and the priest talked to her for a long time. He told her that she needed to let the souls of her dead sons go, that she shouldn't keep them here..."
The city council offered the parents of the fallen soldiers psychological assistance, but the couple refused to talk to a psychologist. The best consolation for the grieving couple is their living children and grandchildren.
Almost all relatives dream about Volodymyr and Oleksiy. At first, Volodymyr used to come to his sister in a dream silently and point his finger so that she wouldn't cry. His mother dreamt of him dancing with a girl in the garden. Oleksiy used to treat his mother to sweets in his dreams...
Ruslan, the elder brother of the fallen soldiers, started volunteering. Sisters Liudmyla and Anna help their relatives at the front line. They are also helping the starosta to make a memorial plaque in honour of Oleksiy and Volodymyr and two other fallen soldiers.
Dreams that did not come true
Unfortunately, the deceased Volodia and Oleksiy did not have time to experience the joy of parenthood. Instead, they were left with a fiancée - Volodymyr's beloved was also a soldier. They lived together and planned their wedding.
As for Oleksiy, he met his chosen one during the full-scale invasion. Liudmyla recalls: "The brothers always looked at us, the elders, and dreamed of creating their own families, their own family comfort. We could not even think that it would happen to them..."
Liudmyla also tells us about a hobby that her dead brothers and their father shared: "Our father still plays football, even though he is 59 years old. My brothers also loved to play football. They always dreamed of having a football field in the village so that local children could play football. When Oleksiy worked in Kharkiv, he and his colleagues and friends would go to the 'Metalist' stadium to play football. And Volodymyr was a fan of 'Metalist'.
"Before the full-scale invasion, everything was fine. Maybe one of my relatives once complained that something was not working out. But those were minor problems. And then I realised that the biggest pain is three handfuls of earth at the farewell to a loved one. How I would like to return to that happy time when everyone was alive - to bring the whole family together!
Since Volodymyr and Oleksiy gave their lives for Ukraine, we want this loss not to be in vain. If they fought, then we have no right to give up!
You need to value life - you need to live right now and not put everything off until later, as we did. We need to appreciate our loved ones more, because today you live, but you don't know what will happen tomorrow...", says the sister of the fallen soldiers.
Maryna Serheieva, for Censor. NET
