Is government failing on mobilization?
Get mobilized even for a rear-area position. The state guarantees you decent pay that is below the national average wage, lower than that of a security guard or a loader, even if you are a professional with many years of experience in your field.
Your pay will be so stable that it won’t change for your entire term of service. It won’t even react to inflation, can you imagine? Our inflation is negative. Prices for everything have, of course, fallen; they certainly haven’t doubled over the past four years.
In 99 cases out of 100, you won’t be able to serve where you live, so the state will ensure your comfortable living conditions somewhere else – or maybe not. After all, it’s not like it’s a problem to give up half of what you earn just to pay rent somewhere in the rear? Your family will take care of itself.
You’ll have irregular working hours and no guaranteed days off. But you’re a patriot – would something like that really stop you? You’ll be promised guaranteed leave, but only if there are enough personnel. And of course, every unit has plenty of people. Besides, there’s nothing to worry about – you’ll receive financial compensation for any unused leave. Of course, not at the end of this year, but after you are demobilized. Which will definitely happen someday, just a bit later. Sixty isn’t that far off, is it? The main thing is to live that long.
You’ll be paid a million hryvnias! But only if you were mobilized after February 2022, before you turned 25, or if you sign a contract now. If you were first mobilized before 25 back in 2014, you’re a fine fellow and a patriot! Same if you mobilize after 25 – why would you need a million? You didn’t come here for the money, did you? You’re just doing what you love – defending your country.
You will have a full package of social guarantees! As a combatant, the state will promise you a plot of land where you live. Though if that’s Kyiv or another large city, you’ll get nothing even ten years on from 2015. Hey, don’t be so shocked – you really expected a free plot of land in Kyiv. Here, have a 25% discount on your utility bills instead. And you’ll be able to ride trams and even minibuses for free, provided you master the art of regularly arguing with drivers for that right.
I think these are excellent social guarantees for your mobilization!
You’ll also have proper clothing and gear provided. Most of what they issue you will never wear and will pile up at home. You can even dedicate a separate wardrobe to it. And the things you actually need you’ll buy yourself. You’ll have that "decent" pay, remember! If someone suggests giving monetary compensation instead of useless items, the state will spin a finger at its temple. Are you stupid? How are the Mindiches supposed to make money on defence procurement if everyone buys their own gear instead of taking issued uniforms?
But none of that is a problem; the main thing is that you mobilize, my friend! We can’t win this war without you!
Or even better, sign a contract right now! You’ll get a nice fixed-term contract with clearly defined service dates. After all, you’ve spent four years dodging mobilization, so now you’ve earned the right to have a clear idea of your future. Not like those guys and girls who’ve been fighting since 2022 or even 2014. They’re patriots and can still serve without any right to clear terms of service.
So join us – the real idiots, whoops, patriots. Get mobilized, my friend! Because we can’t win this war without you.
