On demobilisation and AWOL
I’m not the most seasoned fighter in the Armed Forces of Ukraine. My combat record is decent, but to be honest, it’s average.
Four days ago, Butusov posted about the guys who have been holding defense in encirclement for 215 days.
I've never even come close to that kind of hell.
But still, I know the feeling when your limbs go numb during combat. When you urgently need to fire or load magazines, but you can’t because your upper limbs are numb. Because earlier you developed hernias, protrusions, and hydromyelia hauling a rifle with extra ammo and a grenade launcher with rounds. When you lose the ability to move because your back locked up, after trying to move a fallen comrade’s body in a bulletproof vest and helmet. I remember those panic moments of utter helplessness.
Once, after a chemical attack, my nasal valve stopped working. I could only breathe through my mouth. At medical unit A4615, the ENT doctor said it was even better, he was a former athlete, and athletes breathe through their mouths; the nose isn’t really that necessary for humans anyway. He prescribed 10 tablets of 500 mg paracetamol and five days off from physical exertion.
Recently, a soldier driving crashed into a guardrail. He was not sleepy, sober, and had extensive driving experience. He lost consciousness due to concussion effects.
People plan a specific leave date six months in advance so their family can come from abroad, but leave is denied, because it’s at the discretion of the unit commander, who deems it inappropriate. People who aren’t allowed to take leave even for their own weddings for the same reasons. Women who grow tired of waiting and leave for someone else because their husband is no longer the same, and there’s no "new version of the old man" either. Children who refuse to go to their father because he’s not the same anymore and they’ve gotten used to it.
Let’s say the guys who have been holding defense in encirclement for 215 days are coming back today. They wash up, catch up on sleep, eat. And then they have to return to the frontlines again because there are no replacements. The choice becomes, either go back to that life until you’re 60, try to find a way to get discharged, or just go AWOL. What do you think soldiers will ultimately choose?
Today, Colonel Lapin and General Halushkin were released. They were accused of poor defense preparation in the Kharkiv region. Many of our soldiers died there, and in the end, it will be the soldiers who are blamed. For the leadership, there is no punishment other than being transferred to another position. Does the government really not realize that soldiers are watching all this, and it destroys trust in authorities and undermines morale?
To be honest, what keeps me in the army is the moral responsibility I feel toward my son. That’s why I don’t have fuckups or refusals, I strive every day to be a better professional than I was yesterday. I still have an emotional bond with my son, he’s happy to hear my voice, loves playing with my things, tries to tell me stories. I don’t want any dishonorable act of mine to become a reason for other kids to blame him in the future. So I’m patiently waiting for a humane solution to the demobilization issue. Not a rotation where you end up in a penal settlement with endless duties and a sea of daily chores, but a full and proper discharge, where I can feel free again. If I sense that my relationship with my son is deteriorating, that he’s growing distant, I’m ready to spend everything I’ve earned on a bribe to those who can provide a legal basis for discharge, just to restore our emotional bond with Sviat. He is, above all, my whole universe.
Preachers and believers in stories about victory, Siberia, World War II, and how everyone is bringing victory closer in their own way, keep that crap to yourselves and go to hell with it!
Ihor Kryvoruchko
