"Veteran has already proven everything to society. Now question is to society" – Maksym Kolesnikov on soldier’s life after war
After returning from captivity and demobilization, Maksym Kolesnikov, whose photos showing him thin, in old dirty fatigues, holding a fresh apple, have appeared on media covers, continued to personally assist soldiers, veterans, and their families.
Besides working professionally in marketing, he also provides psychological counseling to veterans. In the educational project "Tribe," initiated by Amnesty International Ukraine together with partners, Maksym teaches veterans to become change-makers in their communities.
About where veterans live after returning from the military to civilian life, who should help reintegrate those who defended the country, themselves, the authorities, or civil society, why it’s important to see a psychologist, and where to find meaning in life after the war, read in an interview with Maksym Kolesnikov.
- Maksym, you are a soldier and a veteran. In February 2023, you returned from Russian captivity, where you spent nearly a year. How did you experience this period of return, how did you rebuild your life, and how did you decide what to do next?
- My transition was fairly smooth, without particularly heavy burdens. The first time, when I returned after the ATO in 2016, I quickly found a job, literally within a few weeks after demobilization. The second time, during the full-scale war, I was demobilized at the end of October 2023, and by December 1, I had already started working. I even managed to travel abroad and see my child. From the outside, it all seemed quite easy. But internally, even though I returned to work in my specialty, it was a new company, and there was a greater need for this "entry period," familiarization, and a bit more patience toward me. I had not worked for almost two years before that. I can’t say it was frightening, but it was uncomfortable. My colleagues tried to help, which added stability.
I was lucky that a colleague close to me in rank was also a veteran. He was discharged as early as the first year of the full-scale war. As soon as I learned he was a veteran too, everything somehow became easier. It’s not that I had trouble communicating with others, but still, it gave me a feeling that someone understood me and my state. He regularly attended rehabilitation, and I did so periodically as well. I didn’t want to tell everyone that I needed a rehabilitation therapist, a physiotherapist, or why I came to work late. It wasn’t comfortable to talk about. But then, during a conversation, I found out he was also in rehabilitation: "Why are you here?" "For that." We could talk about it, and it became easier.
- Maksym, you say your adaptation process was more or less smooth, if I may put it that way. What does it depend on? The individual themselves? Their family and the environment the veteran interacts with?
- I think it’s a two-way process. First, much depends on the individual: how much emotional flexibility they have preserved, how traumatic the experience was, and whether they received proper help. Now that I work as a psychologist, I see a high demand for normalizing this state. People feel something and ask themselves, "Is this normal? What is happening to me?"
Veterans need to understand that it’s normal, understandable, and justified, it’s common. Many struggle with learning, many have memory problems, these are consequences of combat stress. This can be improved; there are certain practices. Such reassurance is necessary.
Much also depends on the willingness to seek help. Psychological support is a matter of education, as there is a lot of stigma. Sometimes a person needs help, turns to a psychologist, and receives the wrong approach. Due to limited state resources, civilian psychologists sometimes work with military personnel. But they don’t understand the context and often make mistakes. Such unpleasant experiences can shut down the possibility of seeking help and reinforce the stigma.
A lot also depends on the support of family and those around. How prepared they are themselves, how well they understand the condition of their loved one. This is becoming widespread now and will be even more so after the war ends. It’s a matter of education: the environment needs to know where not to interfere, where not to focus attention, and conversely, how to help normalize the person’s state.
There are many myths, for example, that all veterans have PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder - ed.).Yes, it exists, but only in a certain percentage of people. It’s important to know how to meet such a person, your reaction can either worsen the disorder or help them transition more smoothly to civilian life.
I would say responsibility here is fifty-fifty. The person must show a desire to reintegrate and resocialize. They have to make a conscious effort. At a basic level, they need to do physical exercises. This is a general recommendation after stressful events – physical activity, workouts, walks. Sports require pushing yourself "by willpower", a bit of self-discipline. If a person finds strength within themselves, it already makes things somewhat easier. But if someone is set on just sitting and waiting, that’s much worse. You can provide the best prosthesis or the best rehabilitation specialist in the world, but if the person lacks willpower, it won’t work. And vice versa: a person can have plenty of willpower, but without a professional and committed rehabilitation specialist willing to help, achieving results will also be very difficult.
- Veterans, when asked about difficulties after returning from the military to civilian life, complain about bureaucracy and long waits at the Military Medical Commission (MMC) and the Medical-Social Expert Commission (MSEC). Others talk about emotional struggles, isolating themselves at home and not knowing what to do next. Employment challenges also come up. What do you see as the main problems veterans face? And is it possible to fully resolve them, or is that utopia?
- The first cluster of problems is social adaptation. Here, the state plays a crucial role in systematizing the benefits and opportunities provided. It’s very important to communicate about them. In fact, there are many opportunities: educational programs, small business support initiatives, professional retraining and employment programs, and veteran sports programs.
Everyone who goes through the veterans’ path does so via the TCR and SS. Territorial Center for Recruitment and Social Support. This social support function, which I experienced when I was demobilized, and what I hear now, is performed absolutely insufficiently. They handle recruitment and mobilization—that’s a real necessity. But when a person is demobilized, there is no centralized point where they can get information about their rights, what support is available, what courses exist, and so on.
Regarding the MSEC and MMC, this system needs to operate faster. There is also the issue of staffing levels. Can these MSEC and MMC bodies be made fully convenient? I’m afraid not, because the flow of people is dozens of times greater than what the system is designed for.
The second major cluster is psychological problems. This concerns adjustment disorders, when a person truly can’t find themselves or define their path in civilian life. After the war, when you witness firsthand how fleeting life is, you tell yourself very clearly: if I can die, then I don’t want to accept that. Including, I don’t want to go to a job I hate.
This is a specific wave that requires patience but can be worked through. At earlier stages, it can be addressed simply through conversation and psychological support, providing certain psychological education to help understand one’s condition.
The third cluster concerns relationships and interactions, which heavily depend on the community’s reactions, especially in small settlements. This is not always a problem. Much depends on the awareness of the community leadership and its members, and whether they have already interacted with veterans.
This demand for justice, which is especially strong among veterans, gradually softens when they are recognized and their contributions are appreciated and valued. However, if their contribution is rejected or devalued, it leads to a severe conflict. When a person returns with the feeling of having fulfilled their greatest duty, to preserve the country, the lives of their friends and neighbors, but is met, for example, with a lack of support, it becomes very difficult for the veteran to accept. Instead of becoming a resource for their community, they may become dissatisfied and provoke conflicts. You can’t blame them here; this is more about collective mistakes. My personal view is that the veteran has already proven everything and demonstrated all that is important to society. Now the question is: what will society show in return? People thank "our sunshines in the Armed Forces," but when that "sunshine" returns, they need help with a ramp, and there is no ramp. When asked, "Where is the ramp?" the answer is, "Why are you making a fuss?" Meanwhile, they keep posting pictures of "our sunshines in the Armed Forces." Here, it’s important to understand that gratitude must be effective.
- Maksym, after demobilization, you work with soldiers, veterans, and their families. What is the role and purpose of your work now?
- I have a regular civilian job. I continue working in marketing and consulting. But in addition to that, a major part of my activity has become working with veterans at the Vesta Foundation.
This is an effort to implement systemic solutions that can improve veterans’ lives. It covers several areas: legal support, assistance with paperwork, obtaining benefits, establishing statuses, and resolving other issues.
The second systemic direction is psychological support. My experience in captivity gave me not only the opportunity to endure this traumatic event but also to try to help my comrades. I have an education in depth psychology, specializing as a psychoanalyst, and I completed additional training to get certified in military psychology so that, under close supervision, I could begin working with combat-related trauma. This allows me to fulfill my desire to do something more meaningful for people and to be part of the veterans’ community.
I also work on project analytics. This is connected to the third very important area of my work—information and educational outreach.
- Within the "Tribe" project, you work with a team of 25 veterans. What do you teach them, what experience do you share, and how will the veterans be able to apply this knowledge in their communities?
- This initiative is relatively small in numbers, but with the right approach, it is possible to do quite a lot to meet all the veterans’ needs.
People often have a strong desire to do something. That was exactly the criterion we used to select participants for this project. They need to have that inner fire. They must want to learn skills, develop themselves, and achieve goals. That is very important.
This is an opportunity to gain structured new knowledge and approaches. Legal training, understanding educational and psychological aspects, to realize how to address their own needs and the needs of their communities. It’s like constantly learning to build a bicycle. It’s more effective to show that many bicycles have already been built. People with determination and desire might spend a lot of time searching for more information. The project can provide them with this knowledge in a focused way, based on proven practices. All organizations involved in the "Tribe" project already have extensive experience in practical implementation. This isn’t theory where you just read some legislation; it’s crucial to understand how things work in real life, especially in the realities of our country at war. One of our main modules is media work. We live in a media-driven world, where issues can be solved by gaining public support. Since civic activism must engage with public opinion, we teach how to influence it and communicate plans and needs effectively to one’s own community. Participants of "Tribe" will have the chance to learn new things and build personal connections. When you study somewhere, much of your knowledge and skills come from fellow learners, you share thoughts, cases, and examples of how to solve various problems. The key is to have the desire and a goal and then everything will work out.
Anna Tokhmakhchi
